Uncategorized

This Always Takes Me Back

/ Ken May / 1 Comment

The winter storm whistles through the oak trees outside my second story bedroom window.  The acorns pop against the roof so thunderously I swear Marley’s ghost is ascending the stairs.  The draft from the windows drifts across the room.  I pull the covers closer around my shoulders, and I tap the right side of my Kindle advancing the page.  It’s my yearly custom— reading A Christmas Carol.  Dickens creates a world so immersive that I am transported there even now as I recall my experiences of reading it.

This book has captivated me for almost fifteen years now.  When I was on my first deployment to Iraq in 2008, I decided to read it on a whim.  Dickens drew me in.  The book hooked me, and since then, every year beginning on Thanksgiving weekend, I read it again.  Often I read it twice before Christmas.  It is a short but powerful read.  I savor every sentence letting it set me in mid-nineteenth century London and letting it fill me with feelings of regret, angst, hope and redemption.  It became a companion to me at a time when I was separated from family during the most family-centric time of year.  And since then, it has become a part of who I am and who I am still becoming.

I would love for you to join me this year.  Beginning Thanksgiving weekend, I will post a thought and a discussion question twice a week from A Christmas Carol.  We will cover one stave per week (for those who are not as familiar, Dickens wrote this piece in five staves rather than chapters) and will conclude the week of Christmas.  If you plan to join the rest of us, drop a comment.  A simple “I’m in.” will  suffice…or even a “bah…humbug.”  Or you can even just like this post.  I will look for you in the comments!

Be the Plant

/ Ken May / Leave a comment

One Spring when we lived in Spring Lake, NC, I bought some flowers for our front porch. Not being much of a horticulturist, I didn’t take into account the amount of sun the plant was suited for and I got something that was fairly low light even though our porch had direct sunlight for probably close to eight hours. Needless to say, the plant died a quick and scorching death. I threw the pot behind the shrubs thinking I would take care of it later. (Don’t judge me. You know you do it, too.) Fast forward to September of that same year. I was trimming the hedges and I discovered this.

What was thought to have died sprouted new life. Remember that this is what God does with us. When we are dead in our sins, he gives new life. When we encounter hardship to the point that we despair even of life (2 Cor. 1:8-9), he gives new life and brings good out of anything (Rom. 8:28-29). What’s the lesson? Whatever you are going through right now, be the plant.

Perspective in Myrtle Beach

/ Ken May / Leave a comment

Perspective often determines your level of enjoyment.  I could sit at a five star hotel with wait-staff responding to my every whim.  But if I focus on what I don’t have rather than what I do, I could be miserable.  For example: they put me next to the elevator, I didn’t get the room I requested, they were out of prime rib at the restaurant.  Or I could stay at a mid-range hotel with no amenities and have the time of my life.  What’s the difference?  Perspective.

We love coming to Myrtle Beach, SC.  And we love going in the off season.  It is 8 October as I sit on the fourth floor balcony and write this.  It is hurricane season so it is overcast.  It is not the prime season, but we are as happy as can be.  There are no crowds to deal with.  We got the room at a discounted rate because of the time of year.  And we can sit on the balcony and enjoy the majestic ocean.

I think our challenge is to find this kind of perspective in other areas of life.  Maybe I didn’t get the job I wanted, but what advantages do I have in my present job?  Maybe one of my relationships isn’t going that great, but what am I learning?  Maybe I am not making desired progress toward some of my goals, but how am I growing?  Perspective.  Whether it pertains to your beach hotel or an area of your life, it can be the key to contentment.

And as you can see in the last two pictures, it turned out pretty spectacular anyway.

Allow Yourself to Cheat

/ Ken May / 2 Comments

If I’m going to be a real guitar player, I can’t take the easy way out.  Because, let’s be honest, the easy way is for ameteurs.

How many times have you uttered something like that?  I did for years, and I realized it really held me back.  I haven’t thrown in the towel.  I still try to master things.  I just cut myself more slack now when I don’t get there as quickly as I think I should.

Here is an example.  I was playing for church this morning.  One of the songs had a classic rock riff that went G-C2-Em-D.  The C2 was giving me fits.  I was hitting it clean about 50% of the time.  A few years ago, I would have stubbornly held to it.  But, today, I realized I wasn’t in the groove, so I switched and started playing straight C.  And after the service, person after person came up to me and told me they couldn’t believe I switched and played a straight open C instead of the C2.

No.  They didn’t.  No one knew.  They weren’t concerned about it.  And I was right not to be concerned about it either.

I finally allowed myself to live in this realization: I am an amateur.  So it makes sense that I will sound like one.  But even an amateur can sound good.  And as long as I’m sounding good, isn’t that the goal?

My Back Porch

/ Ken May / Leave a comment

A crane glides to a landing mere yards from me.  A Canadian snow goose bobs just a few feet from the shoreline.  The morning air is crisp.  A chorus of birds fills the air with surround sound.  The glass top of the pond that sits within casting distance of my back porch reflects the palette of the rising sun.

For two years, my wife and I have immersed ourselves in the resort-like beauty of our back porch in the house we have rented in Sumter, South Carolina.  This is one of the newer additions in town, and we were blessed to be able to rent it.  Our house was built in the late 00’s.  The main draw for this neighborhood is that it has a large, S-shaped pond that covers approximately twenty acres.  Houses line the banks of the pond.  We had an inside connection through a friend who was friends with the land lord.  The house was coming available at exactly the time we were moving.  

I have vacationed on the Outer Banks in a three story beach house that sat right on the shore.  I’ve been to the Bahamas, the Jordan River and a resort on the Persian Gulf.  Those places are all amazing.  But I have enjoyed my time on this back porch every bit as much as those.  You don’t have to travel far to have an amazing trip.  In this case, it’s taking a few steps out my back door with a cup of coffee in my hand.

My greatest enemy.

/ Ken May / Leave a comment

When it comes to guitar playing, a particular giant continusoulsy confronts me, and I find myself having to slay it again and again.  You might expect me to say it’s time to rehearse.  Oh, rehearsal for the amateur guitarist.  How often have we daydreamed about working on our most recent lick or riff while saddled with life’s responsibilities?  But rehearsal time is not what I’m talking about.

So it must be staying focussed during rehearsal.  That’s it.  When I do finally find time to sit down, getting sidetracked or not really having a plan eats away at my productivity.  The precious moments fly away, and I’ve not accomplished much of anything.  We have all felt that frustration.  But that isn’t it either.

Comparison.  Comparing myself to other guitar players kills my progress more quickly than anything else.  I either compare myself to someone with much less experience, and my motivation tanks.  Or, more commonly, I compare myself to prodigies and professionals who are able to rehearse ten hours a day, and I wonder why I don’t sound like them.

I am slowly learning how not to compare myself to other players and be happy with my own talent level.  And, more importantly, to be happy with my own level of progress.

What’s your biggest giant when it comes to progress with guitar?

Allow Yourself to Suck

/ Ken May / Leave a comment

When I took my first steps, I wasn’t very good at it.  I took no more than two or three till I plopped down.  And that little upstart next door neighbor, Ronny Jorgenson, didn’t help matters.  On his first attempt, he zipped half way across the floor.  He just seemed to be more natural at it than I.  But, you know what?  I didn’t let it bother me.  I let Ronny lace up his Mizunos, and I slobbered on myself as I toppled across the living room.

I was okay with sucking at walking because I remained oblivious to social pressures attached to it.  I was supposed to fall a lot because I was learning.  And I didn’t compare myself to Ronny Jorgenson because I didn’t know I was supposed to.

Be okay with sucking at guitar.  When you learn a new lick or riff, be okay with fumbling the chord changes and missing notes.  What would have happened if you were as impatient learning to walk as you are progressing with guitar?  You’d probably still be sitting in the middle of the floor relying on others to bring you things and take you places.  But if you make yourself okay with slow progress, you will eventually look up and realize you have traveled much farther than you thought.

Zone 1 Starbucks

/ Ken May / Leave a comment

The gravel crunches under my combat boots.  Laptop tucked under my arm.  Walking under the arched canopy (in the Army we call them sun-shades), I pass tables and chairs in a Paris-sidewalk-café-esque arrangement.  Hints of cigar smoke hang in the air and dove waddle around looking for bits of croissants that have fallen.  My boots clunk on the metal steps and the hinges groan as I tug on the door.  

My eyes adjust to the dimly lit interior. Layers of grime on the armrests of the chairs reveal the years of soldiers, contractors and government civilians who have taken refuge in this place.  The smell inside is pungent and stale at the same time— a mixture of expended coffee grounds, brewing espresso and mold and mildew lurking in the dark corners.

I get my grande Pike Place and settle into one of the chairs where thousands have sat as they have sought a little bit of respite.  Separated from family and civilization.  Being held to a ridiculous expectation of work output.  Dealing with crises at home.  Some are getting ready to go into combat in a few hours or days.  Some supporting the ones in the fight.  Some will not come back.  I am right now sitting in a chair where someone wrote the last email they would ever write to their loved ones.

But still, this place is a refuge.  It is a reminder of a normal life.  A life that is not filled with early mornings and late nights.  With long training days and deployments to far away places.  Of a time when good-bye will no longer be said.  If this Starbucks sat in the States, it would be condemned and closed down.  Here, on Camp Arifjan, it is an oasis.  And one of my favorite places.  I’ve spent two years in total on this installation.  Hopefully, I will spend no more time here.  But if I do, I know my grime covered chair will be waiting for me to sustain me until I go home again.

Guitar.

/ Ken May / Leave a comment

I love guitar.  I have played for 35 years, but I am not 35 years good.  And I think there are a lot of people like me.  They love to play, but for whatever reason, have not progressed as far as they would have like to.

I want it to be a site of encouragement, motivation and sharing.

I’m not a professional.  And even though I have played for three and a half decades, I have not consistently progressed.  But I have had a rebirth in my effort to grow.  And I have learned some things about being solidly an intermediate player.  And that is the unique perspective I will bring to the guitar world.  I am going to talk honestly about the struggles I have in progressing, but not as a virtuoso who can’t really understand what it’s like for a person like me who has to practice repeatedly to do even the simplest things.

I hope this will begin to generate some followers and we can have a little fun together.

New posts coming soon.

Writing

/ Ken May / Leave a comment

Soon, I will fill this category with posts about writing. You will be able to browse posts in these areas:
~ Book Quotes (you will find quotes from books about writing with a comment or two from me)
~ Prompted Writings (you can analyze the process of revision)
~ YouTube Channel reviews (I will highlight YouTube videos about writing that I have found helpful)
~ The Craft of Writing (I will hang general posts about writing)